Second chances...

Often, I thought, I wished, things had went differently in my previous relationship.  I often cried about it and wondered what I could have done differently.  Could I have been nicer, sweeter, more understanding, less clingy, more conventional, more dependent or independent?  What did I do wrong? In my mind, everything! What could I change? Well, there was one thing I couldn't change and that was the past.  I couldn't recreate those moments.  They were in the past...

However, the good thing about second chances is that you have the opportunity to prove the past wrong. You have the power to embrace the past, but not allow it to re-evolve.  You have the opportunity to change your destiny.  Not even for one second will you lose yourself, instead you will become a better version of yourself.  But how? 

Focusing on yourself: Well for me it's going to go in this order.
1. God
2. Me/Family
3. Church
4. Dreams

Through this time of "grieving" I've had the opportunity to  grow so much closer to God. It's not that I never knew Him or wasn't exercising my faith in Him, but now it's on a completely different level that sometimes I'm shocked at my relationship with Christ.  He is the very first person I think about when waking up, when going to bed, and just the one I think of throughout the day.  He's my very reason for existing.

I've also made use of my time by studying harder than ever for the ASVAB.  I've learned so many new vocabulary words, that occasionally I even get to use them in regular conversation.  I get a little smile or smirk on my face when that happens.  I've also become more diligent with workouts. I still need improvement in this area, but going to Zumba classes help me forget about every problem in my life and give me the chance to let loose & have fun.

I attend church regularly every Sunday.  However, it's time that I find away to serve in a church ministry. I'm praying for direction for this area.  I want to serve in an area that interest me and that I will continue to pursue.

So, one area didn't workout for me, but using this time to push forward in other areas is making it all worth wild. It's my second chance to make my dreams happen and perserve.  It's something I feel I've done my whole life and although it sounds great. Going through the process isn't always easy. You want to abdicate the process, but enduring the process is worth the great reward.